I am single and loved...toothless and all.
My boys: Do you know how we know you are back in Mom mode when we get home from somewhere?
Me: How?
The boys: Coz your tooth comes out and your pajama pants go on
I was thinking about that as I was getting ready in the morning and someone messaged me about the significance of singleness post I shared on Facebook and in my head I said, “Lord, please send me a man that will love me toothless and all.”
And as I brushed my teeth I heard His still small voice whisper, “I love you like that.” And here come the waterworks (gosh darn! I keep telling God I’m a thug, why He gotta make me a cry baby? )
I thought, about how special it is to be seen and loved by my boys but how much more special that my first love sees me and loves me.
The world can be a scary place. We hear about it, we read about it, our social media feeds, even if we try hard to curate them well, can be full of images and posts about it. As a coping mechanism, here in the West, we tend then to assert our independence or individuality in the world to cope. Young people get an education, move out of their parents home, find a person to marry or in today’s prevailing hook-up culture, find a person to have sex with. We are not of this world and yet because we live in it, we too in our humanness can fall prey to the trappings of the world’s system of trust rather than putting trust in the Fathuiful One. Having a spouse, in an uncertain world can give us a sense of security and a feeling of “at least one person has my back, will love me, and stick by my side.” We put our trust in a man to hold us through life’s ups and downs.
As Christian singles, we are indeed to put our trust in a man, but the only man we can fully trust is Jesus. Jesus, blameless, suffered and died for our sins and time and time again reminded us that He will never leave us nor forsake us come what may.
Romans 8:35-39 ESV
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
And in that whisper, I knew no lost tooth and no well-worn pajama pants can separate me from my first love either. I believe wholeheartedly that God will bring me a man after His own heart who will love me beyond superficial things, yes, but I don’t need to have that man to feel loved or safe. I am loved and I am safe already. My husband will be an earthly representation of God’s love for his church and his people. My future husband will be an amazing, yet still imperfect representation of what Jesus already is to me. Therefore as we steward well our Christian singleness it is a vivid picture of trusting God instead of ourselves and our own ability to acquire things and relationships to make us feel safe. Christian singleness is a beautiful picture of trust.
As single Christian women, we put faith in God to provide in all areas of our lives. We trust he will keep us safe at night and as we walk to our car. We trust that he will put a good mechanic in our lives for when our cars act up and include a handyman or two in our circle of friends for when things break down. We trust that he will take care of the practical things and the deeper less tangible needs we have. Christian singleness is an exercise in relying solely on God to be our provider which is the way it should be even when we have a spouse. Even in marriage, God is the source and all else is a resource. What a blessing and a privilege it is to build a solid foundation of trust in the one-on-one freedom that singleness provides!
Take a look at the following examples. Even in our singleness, we can be a beautiful picture of trusting in God.
Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac is a testament to his faith in God. He had to trust that God would fulfill his promise even if it wasn’t through Issac as he thought. He had to trust God’s promise more than he put faith in his son. In our singleness, we are a picture of trusting God’s promise more than a man who may be a part of the promise but is not the promise giver.
Stephen’s willingness to be martyred is a demonstration of his trust in
God to grow his church. Just like him, our singleness can be a picture of what it looks like to trust God’s plan more than our own resources to accomplish his goals.Jesus’ willingness to die on the cross. Even Christ showed us what it looks like to put our trust in God rather than ourselves.
It is God that keeps us safe. It is God that gives us joy. It is God that provides for our every need.
Dear reader, you are not defective, less than of lacking anything in your singleness. If you allow this time in your life to build character and produce good fruit how much more fulfilling will it be when you get to share all that with someone else? When they get to step into the confident awesomeness that is your world not as your savior —you already have that —but as a partner in the promise?
