The Devil don't Care
There is always something to be grateful for.’
I’m just going to come right out and say it… When it comes to my body I just didn’t believe this to be true.
I’d look in the mirror and all I could see was everything I wasn’t and everything I didn’t want to be. I don’t talk about my body image struggles very often because for some reason it’s a taboo subject among women. We bury the insecurities deep under the fluffy notion of self love and self care. We live in a world where self acceptance is preached, and if you don’t love yourself then who will? The last thing I want to be seen as is a weak woman.
I also have a hard time talking about it because society has a preconceived notion that only people with “certain” body types have body image issues. That is so far from the truth, sister! The devil doesn’t care what you look like, he will take any opportunity he can to sow his seeds of doubt and insecurity. He will use those seeds to grow feelings of being unworthy, ugly, unloveable, and never enough.
I was always slender and fit growing up, but by the time I was in 6th grade I was already almost to my max height of 5 ft 10 inches. In a class of only 10 boys and girls and being the second tallest of them ALL (boys included!)…
Cue the body issues.
My girlfriends were so much more petite than myself and wearing sizes two or three times smaller than me. As a pre-teen girl, to me that meant I was fat. So I stopped eating. I lost a lot of weight, my mom got worried, and I got mad. I would never be as small as my friends and I hated my body for it.
I struggled with this well into my adult life, and it intensified after having four kids.
If I hated my body before, I couldn’t even stand to look at it now. I could not find one thing that I was grateful for or loved about my body.
There was too much fluff there…
Not enough here…
I was stretched out everywhere…
My face was plain…
My nose was too big…
My lips were to thin…
My hair was limp…
My legs were too long…
And I could go on and on!
It wasn’t until about a year ago when my eyes were really opened to the truth about my body. I had been hating on myself long enough and that was not how my Father wanted his precious daughter to live. He had been reminding me over and over again that I am “fearfully and WONDERFULLY made. That I am made beautiful in HIS image. That HE knit me together in my mother’s womb. And I know he is a much better knitter than myself! There are no holes or missed stitches in his finished projects.
God made me carefully and purposefully. Crafting me into a work of art he would be proud to feature in the Lourve.
The same goes for you, sister!
*Image submitted by author
He knows me intimately, he sees all my perceived flaws, and he calls me BEAUTIFUL ONE. Coming to that realization completely wrecked me, in a good way! I always knew it in my head, but my heart never truly believed that I was beautiful to him or anyone else.
It’s still a struggle for me some days. I still see the same things I hated before and long for what I am not, but one thing that really helps me defeat the lies of Satan and embrace my Father’s truths is gratitude.
I am grateful for the strong body he gave me. That same body carried and gave life to 5 children…
“I am grateful for my long legs to run with those kids, even if it is impossible to find pants that are long enough! Good thing cropped jeans are on trend right now!
I am grateful for my hair that expresses my fun and creative personality (it’s mermaid green, y’all!).
I think my eyes are beautiful and I thank him for them! A feature I never appreciated because brown eyes always equaled boring to me. But, chocolate is brown and it’s my favorite, so surely I can appreciate the color of my eyes!
All jokes aside, if you struggle with body image and insecurities I am going to personally challenge you to take captive those thoughts and hand them over to Christ. When you feel them creeping in, make a conscious effort to not entertain them. Instead pick out three things about your body that you are grateful for and thank the Good Lord for them… OUT LOUD in the mirror to your beautiful self!
You’ll be amazed at how this changes your whole perception on your beauty, your worth, and how you see yourself.
