Seeking My Next Love...Me
This is the time of the year where love is overflowing all around you. When you go to the store, walk in the restaurants or even visit your family, love is in the air. This time can be full of bliss and excitement, but sometimes it simply is not. Why? Simply because we have been through some things from loss, failed relationships and unqualified love candidates. This can take a toll and we wish February would hurry up and leave so we can get to the springtime, where relationships are not talked about as much.
This year, I think your February can be one to remember. Sometimes we get caught up in the love we are not receiving from loved ones, flings, or friends. This season it’s always good to be thinking about the love you have for yourself. Self-love is of high importance for your life and to the Lord. Without love for you, you can’t love another person and you will have a hard time receiving love from others.
The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”
Mark 12:31
Have you ever seen someone get a compliment and immediately start disagreeing or brushing off the compliment? I admit I have been one to do it too. That was a red flag about my confidence and love for myself. I couldn’t believe that something about me was worthy of a compliment. I was full of self- hatred and the thought of love for myself didn’t exist. Yes, you guessed it February was also rough for me. I realize it didn’t have to always be rough. I had the power in me to change my thoughts and love on me. It was a process, but I went through it and still go through it. This year I want you to really love yourself. Maybe you already do but there is always space to level up the love you have for you. In the word it, the description of love is given by Paul in 1 Corinthians:
Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. 7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].” AMP 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
The first step in my process was learning the love that God was referring to.
The love that I thought was different. I had to go through and see where I was. Am I patient? Am I kind? Do I persevere? I went through all of these and evaluated myself. The areas I needed help in I prayed about. I asked God to help me. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I began the process of loving me for me. God started to reveal where the true healing needed to occur and how I could get to it.
The second step to this process is something I would call training.
I did things that increased my patience with myself. I gave myself room to make mistakes. I encouraged myself more. All the things I was looking for from my mother or my fiancé at the time, I found it through God and was giving it to myself. I found myself excited to work on a goal for myself. It felt better when I did my hair or makeup. I wasn’t doing it for anybody but me. I started to forgive more because I forgave myself for all the things that I allowed into my life. God started to reshape and prune me. I truly became new in Christ.
The final step to loving myself is to stay consistent in the process.
I started speaking life over myself. I spoke affirmations and scriptures into my spirit. Then this love overflowed into my relationships with other people. I loved them like I loved me. I could show the love of God, which is loving without condition. Even when things hurt or didn’t go the way I planned; I could still show myself that I was worthy of true love.
I know you may read this and think well, it can’t be that simple. You are right It isn’t. These things take time. In order to change you have to accept where you are and who you are in Christ. We have to come out of agreement with the expectations of others. We deserve the love that God has for us and we should definitely give it to ourselves. This will be the only way we can keep the first and greatest command which is to love.
