Why Love Needs Emotional Intelligence
For many love is an emotion. The truth is that love is an action word. It is something we do; not something we feel. It takes work to love people as God does – unconditionally. The difference between us and God is that He loves with what we call, emotional intelligence.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
Consider this story. For many years Scott’s parents hoped he would score highly on IQ tests. Their assumption was that people with a high IQ did better in life. They wanted the best for Scotty but he never got that high score. However, Scott was a great friend from the time he was a boy into manhood. He loved people for who they were, did not judge, and made himself available when he was able. His parents noticed that he seldom stressed out and was usually able to stay in control when situations seemed to be emotionally driven.
Studies have shown that high IQ isn’t really a good indicator of future success. It’s only an indicator of potential. The missing piece of the puzzle is the emotional intelligence quotient, or E.I. Emotional intelligence is a skill that you need to improve your communication with others. This is what Scott had.
Four reasons why E.I. is key to loving effectively.
Emotional intelligence helps to form closer interpersonal relationships. Because they are more likely to understand emotional and social cues, people who have a higher E.I., are able to form strong relationships with other people outside their family environment.
People with emotional intelligence can fit in with more groups. Due to being able to regulate their own emotions in a healthy manner and being able to judge how others may feel about something, People who are emotionally intelligent work well in group and team settings. They often end up as leaders, but also know how to let others lead.
Emotionally intelligent people manage stress better. Because they are aware of their emotional level and feelings, people with high E.I. know when to take down-time so that they can manage their stress. Life is full of stress, and people who are emotionally intelligent know how to notice it before it gets too far, and they take time to take care of themselves.
When someone is emotionally intelligent, they are more likely to show others empathy. People with high E.I. can read facial and body cues of other people and can also put themselves in the shoes of others, even if they’ve never experienced a certain event.
None of these things require a high IQ. You can have an average IQ but a high E.I. and still be super successful in life, perhaps more successful than someone with a super high IQ. If you desire to love better, stop being so emotional and learn how to act and be different. The mandate to love your neighbor as yourself requires the ability to be emotionally intelligent. The great thing is that emotional intelligence can be improved upon, learned and taught.
Go love well.
